You know, people treat me like a dog sometimes, and
frankfurterly, I resent it. Take for example my food bowl. What is that? Dried
crunchy puffy things that look like
rocks? You are putting me on! Dogs are carnivores, and you want us to eat
breakfast cereal? Uh, no. We wolves like warm blood, fresh from disemboweled
entrails ripped from our victim’s flesh.
How insulting to reduce us to eat dried corn and flour pressed into colored
shapes. What is the use in that? We only see in black and white! And what is
this deal about chocolate being poison to dogs? Sure I like to mooch your food.
You would mooch it too if I fed you cold dry cereal all the time. But whenever
you make smores or tollhouse cookies, you give me a line instead of the divine.
“Sorry Fido, these aren’t for you, they will make you sick”
B*** S***!
Do you honestly sit
there and try to tell me, an animal who drinks from the toilet, eats road kill and
out of kitty litter boxes can’t manage a few semi toxic semi sweet lumps of
chocolate in a cookie? Well I can only say, Men are from Mars and Women are
from Venus, but I am from the Dog Star. Get Sirius! It is a human/cat
conspiracy to deny dogs chocolate. So if you value your slippers and prefer
that white carpet without large polka-dots you will disregard that feline
generated propaganda about chocolate being poisonous to dogs. Hey, who’s your
best friend? On Valentines you gave chocolate to that weird human that comes
over sometimes smelling like they fell in a vat full of honey bourbon! And that
one nags all the time. Lets just keep our priorities straight. Shall we?
Kodiak
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